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Post by spm1 on May 16, 2019 11:23:13 GMT -6
((Heyo, this be my first attempt at writing an Inspector Gadget story. So I thought it would fit to start off with going into the backstory of Aunt Gadget.)) PART 1 In Metro City, located in Pittsburgh, things would be going as smooth as the locals say. One of the safest cities in the USA they would say, and were proven to be right for a while. But one thing's for sure; crime still exists for the Metro City Police Force. The entire squadron was lead by Baxter Quimby as the primary chief, with a long list of dedicated officers. His top five officers were listed in the main office, and at the very top is a woman named Jamie Brown. She has been on the force for the past five years and has provided tons of good service without competitive drives. All she cared about was to serve justice to the city. She was an aunt taking care of a girl named Penny after her parents were assassinated by unknown forces. "Jamie! I have an assignment for you!" Quimby exclaimed, "We're gonna need you to investigate a local warehouse. Rumor has it that someone is planning to break in and steal top secret plans from a professor." Jamie was quick to respond. "Don't worry, Chief! I'm always on duty!" Jamie said as she stepped out to the police car. She sat down into the car, ignited it, and drove off to the warehouse to keep watch. In the distance, the security cameras were hacked to work into a parked black van. Inside the van with dark red glows, was a supposedly old man stroking a mixed-breed kitten, and a teenaged companion for backup. The man was once a heavy smoker, destroying his lungs and vocal cords. He was given a voice modulator to be able to talk, which had a very deep voice. To be able to speak once again, he paid doctors to sew it into his neck. Now every word he says is in a deep pitched sinister voice. "They sent security. You know what to do." He growled after seeing Jamie on the cameras. "Affirmative, sir." The boy said. He sprinted out and snuck inside. The building had tons of booby traps to ward off thieves, but the boy was one step above the professor. He pulled out a hologram and fiddled with the on-screen dials. "This should take care of this." He said with a angsty yet determined voice. "SECURITY SYSTEMS OFFLINE" flashed onto the hologram before he dropped down to the floor. The downside was that even though the booby traps were deactivated, the echoing of his footsteps was enough to trigger Jamie's aggressive demeanor when on the job. "Wait a minute. Somebody's inside!" She exclaimed before sprinting inside. She was able to see the boy, who had a slick faux-mohawk haircut with dark red and black clothing. He was holding a manila folder containing the blueprints for an unspecified work of machinery. Whatever was inside could've helped a certain side. "METRO CITY POLICE! FREEZE!" Jamie shouted to the boy as she pointed her gun towards him. He didn't react but instead shot a grappling hook from his wristband that propelled him to the rooftop. "STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" She yelled as she sprinted towards the front door and flung it open. She was able to spot the boy and tried to shoot. All three bullets missed the boy, who was running off with the folder. She ran into the police car and drove off to follow the black van. Inside the van, the boy handed the folder over to the old man. "The deed is done, but we got police chasing after us." The boy said. "Hmm. Talon, just watch and see what will happen to that girl in the car." He growled as he ignited the van and activated one of its accessories. Rifles spouted out from the trunk doors and shot repetitively causing Jamie to swerve against her will. "Wowzers, multiple felonies!" she exclaimed. The man peeked at the side mirror, seeing the police car still following him. "Damn it!" The man snarled. "Yeah, nice plan, Irving." Talon snarked, causing the man to growl. Jamie drove her police car and rammed the trunk of the van, sending everyone to catapult to the front. The kitten fell to the floor, screeching all the way. Eventually, both vehicles stopped. Jamie pulled out a megaphone and stuck her head out of the window. "Mr. Irving Winchester! You're under arrest for breaking in and out of a top secret facility! Come out with your hands up!" Jamie yelled into the megaphone. Irving stepped out of the van, holding both hands up. "Okay, you got me." He said dryly. "Yeesh, this guy's voice is something else." Jamie said as she stepped out of the car towards the old man with a death glare. "Okay, anything you say can be held against you in court." Jamie said as she prepared the handcuffs. But without warning, Irving pulled out a gun and shot Jamie in both arms, making her collapse onto the ground with a small scream. "OFFICER DOWN!" Jamie yelled into a walkie-talkie. As a last resort, she pulled out her gun and tried to shoot Irving. It succeeded but only took out his right hand. He reacted with a yell sounding like a demonic lion's roar. Multiple cop cars came in to chase down the man, while some tried to call an ambulance for Jamie. "Miss Brown, I was afraid this day would come. Your gunshot wounds will prevent you from doing any more work. I'm afraid you're being let go until we can find a replacement." Chief Quimby said, who was seeing Jamie on a table carried into the ambulance. "Wheel her out, doctor." He said. The sirens wailed off into the distance from both the police and medical vehicles as the sun would slowly creep in hours later. TO BE CONTINUED... ((If there's anything I need to improve on, let me know and I'll try my best to incorporate those fixes. Also, Penny and Brain aren't here because I'm saving them for the next part at the hospital. I eagerly await to see your initial thoughts. Thanks! ))
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Post by Systemcat on May 16, 2019 13:32:29 GMT -6
Before I dive into reading this I have only one suggestion. Please break up the text so it's easier to read. I don't know about others but large blocks of text cause me easy confusion when reading.
Example to possible format.
(Paragraph) 3 to 7 sentences maybe.
(Speaking)
(Speaking)
(Paragraph)
However order runs in the story for presentation.
Glancing, this looks to be a a couple pages at a guess which isn't bad for a start and makes for a decent intro. But again I haven't read it yet.
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spm1
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Post by spm1 on May 17, 2019 18:15:47 GMT -6
PART 2
The next day, Irving had called in another professor to construct a mechanical right hand thanks to Jamie, who was located in the Metro City Hospital. "Okay, I know how evil you guys can get! So this one's just a stainless steel with plenty of
red spikes." Dr. Sanford said as he gave the implant to Irving. "Looks impressive, Sanford. It seems that the natural position is like a claw shape." He said. "Oh yeah, it gets like that with every prototype before we continue forward--" Sanford
tried to explain before Irving abruptly shoved the hand onto the stump with dried blood. The hand locked onto the arm with multiple needles stabbed through his wrist but didn't flinch once. A cuff formed around the hand, now resembling a glove.
"Hmm, it'll do." Irving said as he flexed his new hand a bit. He was able to move all five fingers, and it was strangely smooth like an actual human hand. "The claw suits my demeanor." He also said. "So what are ya gonna do? Call yourself Doctor
Claw?" Talon asked sarcastically. "It has a nice ring to it. Thank you, Talon". Irving chuckled, while Talon just face-palmed himself.
Meanwhile at the Metro City Hospital, Jamie was in Operating Room 83. There were casts formed all over her arms resting in a bed with an IV drip nearby and a continuously beeping heart monitor. A couple knocks were heard on the door.
"Come in." Jamie said. The door opened, revealing Jamie's niece, Penny, holding their pet dog Brain, a mix of both beagle and golden retriever breeds. Penny stepped in wearing a red shirt with a white stripe and green jeans. Her hair was formed
into two pigtails on the back of her blonde head. "Aunt Jamie, are you okay for now?" Penny asked. "Well, let's go over what happened. My arms got shot, my body slipped on a banana peel, and I was given pastrami instead of bacon on my
sandwich. So yeah, it isn't getting better, Penny." Jamie said weakly. "Well, I came over because I had to inform you about the police force." Penny quickly added, "They were looking to include a mechanical upgrade to the district. The professor
you tried to protect is here too." A man wearing a lab coat entered the room, aged about somewhere between fifty and seventy. He sported all sorts of odd clothing extras, varying from all parts of his body. "Hello, Jamie. My name is Maxwell Von
Slickstein. I was in the warehouse you were watching over last night." Slickstein said. Jamie turned to him, not questioning all the doodads on his body. "Yes, I'm that officer, but why am I the person you're looking for?" Jamie asked with reason.
"Your niece relayed the news about Metro City Police adding a mechanical component, so I thought I could fix you and make you the new robot lady on the squad!" Slickstein proudly exclaimed. "Wait a minute. That trick only works on dead peo--"
Jamie said before being cut off by Slickstein pulling the plug, killing her. "W-WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Penny yelped in shock from seeing her recently-deceased aunt. "She made a good point about this working for dead people, so I had to resort
to dark methods to get started." Slickstein explained, but just got dirty looks from Penny and Brain, while the latter was growling at the professor.
Jamie's lifeless body was placed on an operating table. She was watched over by Slickstein and an army of surgeons. "All right, guys. The plans for Operation Gadget are set to go into effect with the revitalization of Jamie. Proceed with the
implants." Slickstein said. One doctor rested his hands under his chest, signalling a suggestive gesture. "Her arms." Slickstein groaned. The doctor gave up the lewd joke and pulled in a cart loaded with robotic arms. Other doctors came in with
various gadgets listed on Slickstein's shopping list for the project. "Commence surgery." Slickstein said as the doctors went to work. The metallic arms went inside and out, covering up the blood-soaked bare arms Jamie once had. Her brain had a
central processing drive installed to control the various devices thanks to another doctor. Her body got filled to the brim with potentially useful and useless objects that would be used at her aid.
Several hours later, the job was complete. Jamie suddenly woke up from the death-like coma, all alone on the table with nobody else. Her new clothing consisted of a white tank top with blue pants. "Ugh, man, what a nightmare. Can't believe I
actually thought I got into that accident with the deep voice guy. God, I need some tea." Jamie said. Loud mechanical whirring was heard as she suddenly had a cup of iced tea in her hand. "Thanks, doc." She said as she took a sip. But the
immediate service of the drink froze Jamie in place. "Wait a minute. The service here isn't usually this good." Jamie said with suspicion. She turned left and right to see if there was anyone else, and shock of shock, there was no one. "Huh, I
could've sworn it'd be better than before." Jamie said as she stroke her chin with her index finger and thumb. She immediately stopped when she felt something cold touch her face. She looked down and saw robotic implants of her arms. She
shrieked, startling doctors from nearby rooms. She observed her right hand, with each finger popping a small object at the tip. She furiously shook her hand, but all it did was generate new things. "What have they got me on?!" Jamie furiously
asked to herself. She got up onto the floor, but she wobbled since she also got robotic leg implants. "Wowzers, they did my legs too? The pants make it look nice but I need to see the guy and fast!" Jamie said. Suddenly, rocket skates popped out
of her shoes, propelling her out the room and into the hallway of the hospital. She kept going fast without control, giving her a reason to be concerned. "Sorry! Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Jamie cried as she accidentally bumped into several
operations. She finally found Slickstein, who just so happened to bump into her. "Ah, Jamie. I see you're already used to your implants. Your body is now half machine, making you the perfect subject for the MCPD's mechanical recruit."
Slickstein said with a surprisingly calm tone while Jamie was mortified. "Um, that sounds nice and all, but I gotta get out of here!" She exclaimed in a state of total fear. "Jamie, I know this transition is a bit scary for you, but we'll try to make
it work for you. After all, this is a chance for you to return to the Metro City Police Department." Slickstein said with a tad bit more desperation, "We'll go over all of the tricks and techniques you'll need to be a lean mean crime fighting machine."
Jamie turned back and forth hurriedly, but ultimately gave up. "Fine. But if it gets too bloody for my own good, I'll just be one of the town freaks." Jamie said.
TO BE CONTINUED...
((As you can piece together, the story so far is a fixed version of the 1999 movie with more faithful components of the cartoon(s). If you wish to illustrate the story, message the author and I'll be happy to your work. Systemcat's formatting advice
is also something I need to mention as I revised the formatting to make it more accessible and easy to read. At least I hope it does. Part 3 will cover Jamie's training as the Inspector Gadget persona in her career and personal life. Stay tuned.))
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Post by Systemcat on May 17, 2019 18:51:26 GMT -6
The formatting was better but can use a little more refinement.
I could tell it was an AU version of the 1999 movie and so far so good. Although Von Slickstein I sort of think needs jail time for what he did to Jamie in how he forced the matter.
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Post by spm1 on May 17, 2019 18:58:28 GMT -6
The formatting was better but can use a little more refinement. I could tell it was an AU version of the 1999 movie and so far so good. Although Von Slickstein I sort of think needs jail time for what he did to Jamie in how he forced the matter. Penny and Brain had the right reaction. Don’t worry, Slickstein will get fired from the project by Quimby early on in Part 3. And since Quimby was considered Gadget’s supervisor in the original, I think it might make sense for him to be Jamie’s tutor.
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Post by spm1 on May 18, 2019 8:39:25 GMT -6
PART 3
Jamie sat down in an office located within Metro City Police Force's offices. Slickstein had arranged the meeting between him and Jamie so she could get a better understanding of her new body.
"Okay, so if I can recall, I was in the operating room before I was abruptly cut off by you pulling the plug on me!" Jamie angrily said.
"Calm down. Your memory has morphed in more ways than one. Extensive elements from your past are remembered but some parts of your intelligence will be harmed." Slickstein quickly added.
"Really? If I can remember correctly, the guy who shot me hampered me for the worst, he's got a kid on his side, and two plus two is 22." Jamie said, accidentally proving the point from earlier about how her brain was affected.
All of a sudden, Chief Quimby walked in, although he knows more about the surgery rather than what happened in-between. "Afternoon, Jamie. I see that your operation went well." He said, "And same to you, Professor Slickstein. were you able
to work out all of the kinks of assembling her?"
"Oh yeah, sir. She's equipped with so many gadgets, she might as well be called 'Gadget'. Quirky, I know." Slickstein replied.
"Jamie, how do you feel with all these devices and robotic implants on you?" Quimby asked to Jamie, who was tapping her metallic index finger on the armrest. "Well, I can say it was scary because of the sudden nature and how Slickstein pulled
my plug just to get started!" Jamie replied with an accusatory expression.
"Ugh, Jamie, we don't mention that part of the process!" Slickstein angrilly said in a quick burst.
"Wait. Slickstein, you had to kill Jamie just to begin the operation? My god, what is wrong with you?" Quimby now asked to Slickstein, as the former was reasonably pissed off.
"No wait, it's not what you think it is! It was a mercy kill!" Slickstein yelped, but immediately covered his mouth upon what he spouted out.
"Get out. You're fired from the Gadget project. Murder will never advance your scientific work." Quimby said sternly.
"Honestly, I kinda saw that coming." Slickstein said before getting a quick "GET OUT!" yell from Quimby. Slickstein hurriedly put on his coat and ran out of the office.
Jamie saw him run out, with a more relieved expression. "Thanks, chief. Are you the new instructor?" Jamie asked.
"We're out of options, and he left the training documents on the desk. In other words, it's pretty obvious." Quimby said. "The first step is to cover up the robotic parts. I got something you can wear that'll do the job."
"If it's a set of women's underwear, I'm gonna be pissed." Jamie said. She was handed a light grey trenchcoat, a full-sleeve white work shirt, a blue tie, brown leather gloves, and a grey trilby hat. "Oh, that looks better." She said with more relief.
She went into a nearby restroom to change into her new clothing. She eventually stepped out with new garments. The coat, the shirt and tie, the hat, the works.
"All right, Jamie. Now that you're in your new uniform, your code name is now Inspector Gadget." Quimby said as he walked up to her.
"Is that because of how ridiculous this costume looks?" Jamie asked with slight confusion, "It's kind of a bit Clouseau-ish for my taste."
"Sort of. The next part of your training is the basics of your gadgets. Your brain has a drive planted on you to memorize the database of said gadgets. Downside is that it also kinda ruins your intelligence." Quimby said.
"I think we covered that one already." Jamie quickly added.
"Umm, okay. The next part of your training is a physical exam. You'll be shown how to use your gadgets while on the job." Quimby said, "Now if you'll just follow me outside, we can begin." Now that they were outside the hospital and onto an
empty park, the next part of training would begin. "Okay, welcome to the next part of your training. To activate a gadget within your arsenal, you would say 'go go gadget' followed by the name of a selected gadget.
"Why those words? It sounds even sillier than the costume. Why can't it be like 'in the name of justice thing" or "stop or I will use blah blah blah'?" Jamie asked.
"It seems that the ex-professor was a bit of a total nut-job. Anyway, let's think up a scenario to get the idea." Quimby retorted, "Let's say there's a guy who just robbed a bank. Of course you want to stop him, and the desired method is to make
him trip so he could lose track of the money he stole. What gadget would you use?"
Jamie had her thinking hand again, although it took about three to six seconds to get an answer. "Go go gadget oil slick?" Jamie asked. Immediately, her right hand slipped back into her coat and out popped a large nozzle complete with
mechanical whirring. It quickly shot a mine consisting of oil, slamming into Quimby, who propelled a couple feet backward landing into a nearby picnic. He groaned as his clothing was soaked in oil.
Jamie's nozzle turned back into her hand before she ran over to Quimby and helped him back onto his feet. "Chief, are you okay?"
"Dry cleaning will be a nightmare, but that was the correct answer. I would continue the training, but we're gonna need crash test dummies if this keeps up." Quimby uttered.
Meanwhile, Dr. Claw was gathering locals into his lair, which was an abandoned mansion. Plenty of men and women were standing as if they were soldiers. Dr. Claw watched over all of them, with death glares aplenty. "Before, you were simple
minded citizens of Metro City who wanted to go beyond their rules. Now, you're part of a terrorist organization to finally take back what's ours. The freedom of no lawmakers will make you rich beyond any dreams. You will be bombing major areas
of the city, killing innocent civilians, and tripping children to the concrete. Our master plan is to nuke the city unless Mayor Wilson pays us TEN MILLION DOLLARS." Dr. Claw snarled.
"Anyone who needs to be properly prepared will need to visit the training dojo, lead by me. You'll be instructed the various ways of how MAD will conquer Metro City." Talon said.
"We are MAD!" Dr. Claw growled.
"MAD!!!" The new terrorists shouted."
"Look at that. We now have the people we need to finally take over Metro City, eh, MADCat?" Dr. Claw sneerly says to his mixed-breed kitten, appropriately named MADCat.
She hisses a laugh to agree with her master.
"Nobody in the city can stop us. No one will dare to try and cross us. Nobody will take down MAD!" Dr. Claw roared over his new army. The army was ready to act its first tasks of terrorism onto Metro City.
TO BE CONTINUED...
((As you can see, more formatting fixes were applied thanks to System. As also seen, I wrote it that Slickstein was quickly fired and Quimby would be Jamie's tutor for her gadgets. I even got to use this part to introduce the terrorist organization MAD! And yes, I tried to write them as legit terrorists and it might be either too silly or too dark. Either one works. As mentioned earlier, if you want to illustrate the Aunt Gadget, let me know. Thanks in advance!))
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Post by Systemcat on May 18, 2019 15:40:01 GMT -6
For the most part and I mean that by what feels like 99%, the formatting has gotten better.
As for the chapter itself. Her intelligence hasn't taken much of a down fall. If I'd have to state anything to it, well this seems the best way to state it. It glitches.
I like how you handled her training with Chief Quimby. It feels a little less silly than how the movie presented that idea.
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Post by spm1 on May 31, 2019 9:18:26 GMT -6
PART 4
Gadget was blindfolded as she was standing in the back of a training dojo designed to look like an underground bunker. Chief Quimby was standing in the middle of the room holding a crystal ball, and wearing a sensei costume. "Gadget, this portion of your training will hone your senses. For example, you should be able to detect criminals even without seeing them." Quimby said. "Try to grab this crystal ball located somewhere in the room." "Umm, okay." Gadget said. Her right arm extruded outwards, getting longer. It propelled all the way towards another corner as her arm bounced off the walls until she accidentally punches Quimby in the face. Quimby gasps in pain as he falls to the floor. "Gadget, that was very misguided!" He sternly exclaimed. Gadget then took off her blindfold revealing her dark gray eyes. "Oh! Uh, sorry, Chief. Nobody else was in the room." Gadget said, "You should really hire some people to act as test dummies." "Two things are for sure, Gadget. One, I should save our budget for that. Second, this part of your training went way more berserk than expected." Quimby said. "D-did I pass?" Gadget asked worriedly. "Fine, whatever. Every police officer has a vehicle to get them around Metro City. That being said, your next part of training is on-the-road business." Quimby said as he led Gadget upstairs. Eventually, the two stepped into a darkened garage. Chief Quimby flipped the light switch, letting Gadget see the vehicle parked in the middle of the room. The car resembled a hybrid between a Toyota Supra and a Lotus Esprit, and was loaded with controls to manipulate gadgets programmed into the car which varied from Gadget's devices. "Wowzers, you bought me a car?" Gadget asked with sincerity. "It was a custom made car never seen before by anyone, but you're close. It is loaded with gadgets similar to the ones programmed in your body." Quimby said as he gave the inside details on said car. "Given the whole project, you could call this the Gadgetmobile. Gadget sat down in the driver's seat. "Ooh, it's very nice for a custom! I just don't know what company made it." "This car can be activated much like your devices. To activate said car, just say 'go go Gadgetmobile' and it'll start up in a snap." Quimby replied in annoyance. "Umm, the car's activated the same way? It seems very awkward to wake up my car just by saying 'go go Gadgetmobile'." Gadget said. Suddenly, the car's ignition roared. "Woah, quite a hefty purr!" She exclaimed. "To spare my sanity, the car has an AI to guide you through your first case. There's a group of thugs attempting to rob a jewelry store." Quimby uttered as he rubbed his nose in slowly growing frustration. The car's head lights turned on as Gadget flipped the ignition to drive. The car suddenly drove automatically at top speed as she had little time to react to the built-in features. In that same time, the garage door slowly opened but it wasn't open to prevent Gadget getting hit towards the forehead with the door. Her endoskeleton neck was exposed as she recoiled her head back to the stump on her body. Eventually, a sound resembling a phone's ringtone emitted from her. "Dah! Who's phone is that?!" Gadget exclaimed as she looked frantically for the phone. She then noticed that the sound was coming from her as her right hand vibrated like a smartphone. "Oh! Ummm, go go gadget phone?" Gadget stumbled. A reciever stick popped up from her thumb as she rested her fingers to resemble a hand phone. "Hello?" Gadget asked into the hand phone. "This is Chief Quimby. I'm calling to see if the top secret Gadget Phone was properly installed. It seems that it's working as intended, but don't wind up in a spot with bad signal." Quimby said on the other end. "The two robbers seem to be wearing all black with some sort of insignia printed on the front clothing article. I hope you know what to do from there." He finished as he hung up. The receiver slipped back into her thumb as the car violently drove towards the local jewelry store. It swept into the side of the road and parked. "Damn it, I was stuck with a self-driving car." Gadget mumbled as she stepped out. She noticed two men inside of the store, with small bags of valuable diamonds. "Hmmm... they must be trapped inside the store!" She exclaimed before running towards the front door. "Excuse me! Are you in need of rescuing?!" She yelled towards the men inside the store. The robbers looked at each other confusedly, before turning to the woman. "Ummm, yeah! We were buying some diamonds LEGALLY and we accidentally got locked in!" One robber said. "It was a very late night job, and we forgot about the closing hours." The other robber said. "Seems like a valid reason. But what's with those two large bags?" Gadget asked suspiciously. "Oh, we had a big order. Our business needs a huge supply of gems for a new line." The first robber said, clearly lying. "Ah, seems fair. I'll get ya outta there. Go go Gadget door unlocker!" Gadget said. A missile appeared out of her hat as it blew up the door. The two robbers escaped with the gems. "Thanks, woman! The business will love these diamonds." The robber said again. "Don't get too excited, boys. I got a parting gift for your establishment. Go go Gadget handcuffs!" She exclaimed. A large pair of silver handcuffs chained the two robbers together as they dropped the bags before they could react. "Gotcha! You're under arrest for first-degree robbery." She sneered. "Aw, come on! We were so close!" The first robber said. "Guess we better tell Dr. Claw about this." The second robber muttered in fear. He pulled out his wrist watch as he set up a video call with Dr. Claw. The camera was misplaced to show his mechanical hand. "Claw, sir?" Robber 2 asked. "What is it, Baxter? You're interrupting something important." Dr. Claw snarled. "Someone stopped us from our robbery. She's got this weird trench coat and said the word 'gadget' a lot." Baxter said while scared. "You couldn't even do a simple robbery?! And who is this woman?!" Dr. Claw growled. The communication was shown to Gadget, who simply waved. "Hi, sir! Are these your kids? You have a lot to lecture about." She said. "Wait a minute! Something seems familiar about you." Dr. Claw said. "Were you the girl who tried to stop us from robbing Slickstein's plans?" "And something's familiar with you too! I didn't know you were a family man! All I got's a very smart niece and her dog but that's a good family for me." Gadget replied with a smile. "But seriously, you need to teach 'em that stealing is wrong." "Umm, fine. But we'll meet at some point, Jamie. Or should I say, Gadget." Dr. Claw growled with an off-screen smile of pure terror. "Bye!" Gadget said as she hung up. She dragged the crooks into the back seat of the Gadgetmobile. They were locked in with a stainless steel cage. "Don't try to escape." She said as she pulled out the Gadget Phone via hand. "Chief, I caught the robbers. They might be related to this guy named Claw." She said into the receiver. "Great job on your first case, Gadget. However, we'll need to look into this Claw guy." Quimby said on the other end. Afterwards, the receiver slipped back into her thumb as Gadget let her car do the driving down to the Metro City Police Station. "All right, boys. Here's your cell." She said as she pushed the two robbers into the cell. "You two did the crime, now ya gotta do the time." She said as she slammed the barred gate onto them. Meanwhile, Dr. Claw was furious over the recent arrest. "How could they not do even the simplest damn offense?!" He growled. "Look, maybe it wasn't their fault. There could be something about this Gadget woman. She knows something that we don't." Talon frantically said as he was a tad bit shocked from his uncle's booming roars. "Valid point, but this DOESN'T excuse their failure!" Dr. Claw roared. He stepped up as he walked toward a sleek endo-skeleton. "You'll be ready some day. She won't know what's coming."
TO BE CONTINUED... ((Holy crap, finally! For illustration references, the endoskeleton Dr. Claw approaches resembles a hybrid of this and this. Liberties can be taken if you want.))
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Post by Systemcat on May 31, 2019 18:24:27 GMT -6
First off the more I read this story, the more I'm favoring it over the canon version. This feels less goofy than the film. For example in this chapter you wrote out the ball joke. That while I get the humor of it as I'm sure anyone would. Was that really needed is my opinion of the scene. Yeah, here she had a mishap in training and it was still a shade of silly, but I liked it not being um, how to put this, a down low joke. I assume you put research into what the Gadgetmobile at least cartoon-wise is by the Toyota Supra note in this. The Lotus Esprit note had me googling since I've never run across that name before now. Seeing it's older models I think I might have laughed when I saw the resemblance it can be said to bare to the cartoon car. Your Gadget has a little more brains than the cartoon one. She got the MAD agents ( although it was a pip to read her thinking they needed rescuing from the store ). But she well in normal fashion to any take on Gadget from canon. Made an interesting to say the least assumption of the agents relationship to Dr. Claw . Looking forward to the next chapter of this. PS: One link appears to be as intended leading to that variant of Freddy Fazbear. The second link just goes into this thread.
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Post by spm1 on May 31, 2019 19:58:02 GMT -6
First off the more I read this story, the more I'm favoring it over the canon version. This feels less goofy than the film. For example in this chapter you wrote out the ball joke. That while I get the humor of it as I'm sure anyone would. Was that really needed is my opinion of the scene. Yeah, here she had a mishap in training and it was still a shade of silly, but I liked it not being um, how to put this, a down low joke. I assume you put research into what the Gadgetmobile at least cartoon-wise is by the Toyota Supra note in this. The Lotus Esprit note had me googling since I've never run across that name before now. Seeing it's older models I think I might have laughed when I saw the resemblance it can be said to bare to the cartoon car. Your Gadget has a little more brains than the cartoon one. She got the MAD agents ( although it was a pip to read her thinking they needed rescuing from the store ). But she well in normal fashion to any take on Gadget from canon. Made an interesting to say the least assumption of the agents relationship to Dr. Claw . Looking forward to the next chapter of this. PS: One link appears to be as intended leading to that variant of Freddy Fazbear. The second link just goes into this thread. Wait, one link is faulty? AGH Anyway, those pics are the main inspiration for what RoboGadget's skeleton would look like. (crap, I spoiled her appearances) There's something about those Five Nights endoskeletons that just fits in with her skeleton. The other link was supposed to be a Nightmare Endoskeleton edit. Yes, testicle humor is cheap so it makes slightly more sense to have Quimby punched in the face. Not instantly the best but I think it feels a tad bit more effective. It's literally what I wanted when I actually saw the scene instead of said nutshot. And yes, he's not gonna be as thrilled from the get-go and REALLY won't be excited at all eventually. I do like the idea that Jamie only plays dumb to trick criminals. But at the very last second, BOOM, she arrests them. But then again this makes it difficult to properly balance Penny later on since there wouldn't be much for her to concern. (and yes, I'm planning to redesign my Penny to have more lineage to the Gadgetinis version since that design is actually my favorite. She'll still have the 80's tech with small references and nitpicks towards the 2015 series. The latter show seems easy given how I've implemented Talon with plans to write him more as a polar opposite of her. Less annoying too though I wasn't really concerned with him.)
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spm1
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Post by spm1 on Jun 2, 2019 17:43:24 GMT -6
PART 5
After the recent crime-stopping Jamie had brought out, the Metro City Police Force held a gala to commemorate her success and their ambitions of the cybernetic recruit concept. She invited her niece Penny to come along. The news was made to everyone in Metro City, even the MAD organization. This led Dr. Claw to come up with an idea. He sent Talon to the gala undercover to see what could come of use for a future crime. The building was full of citizens who came to admire Gadget. Chief Quimby stepped out towards a microphone on the center stage. "Good evening, citizens of Metro City." Quimby said. "As you may have heard, today would've been like any other day. However, it wasn't. How come? Because we have a new officer providing several technological advancements." He said while tapping his fingers in a pattern on the podium. "So why waste more time? Introducing our latest prodigy in cybernetics and law enforcement, Inspector Gadget!" The curtains opened up and shined a huge spotlight onto Gadget. She flinched at the sudden light before she took the time to see how many people arrived. "Wowzers, this is quite a crowd." Gadget said with a small ounce of stage fright. She walked over to the podium as Quimby sat down at a nearby table. "So, hi! It's me. Little known fact, I was once a regular officer for MCPD. I was taken out of commission by some guy with a deep voice who shot me in the arms." She said. Quimby facepalmed as some patrons were reasonably startled. "Oh, sorry about that. Anyway, I was revived by Dr. Shall-Not-Be-Named to be MCPD's first cybernetic officer. And of course I solved my first case with arresting two guys who may be related to the deep voice guy." Gadget continued. "So if you need to ask me anything, feel free! I'll be joining in the festivities in the meantime. Have a great night, Metro City! And remember, I'm always on duty!" She finished. The audience applauded as Gadget walked back to her table with Penny. She had a red tuxedo with a white tie. She slipped up her right sleeve to reveal a blue wristwatch, with tons of enhancements. She enabled the video camera to communicate with Brain, who was back at home. "Come in, Brain. The camera feature seems to be working." Penny said. "Nothing has happened yet, but I'll let you know soon." She reported as she pressed a button to hang up. She turned over to Jamie, who was drinking a glass of champagne. "Aunt Jamie, this whole detective job seems really interesting." "Of course it's good, Penny. It helps you piece together an important case." Gadget said as she set down her glass. "It really got me thinking. I kinda want to tag along for cases." Penny stammered as she tried to focus on her aunt. Gadget spat out her champagne on the floor in reaction. "Oh Penny, I think you're a bit too young for this. I would've loved it though." She said as she wiped her mouth. "Besides, you could be in serious danger and I'd go insane if anything happened to you." "Yeah, but I could be of great help. You know how smart I am, right?" Penny asked as if she wasn't kidding. The downside was that Jamie was already talking to several other citizens. In the distance, Talon was disguised in a formal outfit to blend in with the surroundings. He was analyzing Penny and Gadget whilst hiding underneath tables. His wristwatch communicator beeped loudly, causing him to sneak out into a corner. Few people nearby saw him, including Penny. "What the heck was that?" She asked to herself. Talon hid into another corner as he called Dr. Claw at his HQ. "Dr. Claw, it turns out the gadget woman has a kid with her. She wants to go alongside her and I think there's something we could do we with the kid." Talon said into his communicator. "Proceed, Talon." Dr. Claw snarled with full attention. "But keep it short. I'm proceeding with the final touches on our new friend with Sanford." "She's got those pigtails, a total goody-two-shoes know-it-all, and doesn't care about the potential dangers." Talon said in a hurried state. "Hmm, we could go with the old fashioned method of upping the ante. Make sure you try to lure this girl into our trap." Dr. Claw growled as he hangs up. He stepped up and walked over to the endoskeleton again, this time it was near complete with very little optimizations left to go. The skeleton had a full woman's head with raven hair spiked outwards to resemble the real Gadget. "Oh, Dr. Claw! You're just in time to see the awakening of the fruits of our labor." Sanford exclaimed. "Her head isn't the most perfect match to our new target, but it comes close enough." "Good job. How do we awaken her?" Dr. Claw asked. "Oh that's so simple it would take a monkey to prove how easy. You flip the switch!" Sanford retorted as he turned on the endoskeleton via a small nickel switch on the neck. The endoskeleton violently wakes up with black sclera and red irises. She blinks, reverting her eyes to the regular white sclera with dark gray irises to match Jamie. "Where am I?" She asked with a dead glare. "You're in MAD HQ, and you're the result of stolen plans from that scientist the woman tried to save. But here you are, the completely robotic clone of that woman. And your job is to completely destroy her reputation. To the point where everyone would want her to be publicly executed in the front of Metro City." Dr. Claw snarled with a smug grin. "So, what's your first objective, RoboGadget?" He asked with a sneer. "KILL GADGET." RoboGadget loudly spoke. "No no no no, no. You'll just damage her career, I'll do the killing." Dr. Claw reassured her. "RUIN GADGET'S REPUTATION." RoboGadget spoke again, with the new goal in mind. Meanwhile, Professor Slickstein was back at the same warehouse he was at when the crime originated. "Damn it, Jamie. She cost me my career, and now nobody's gonna want me onboard anything." He angrilly muttered. He kicked a few cans as a shadowy figure watched him with glowing red pupils. The figure stepped closer to him, but hid well when Slickstein turned around. "Hello? If there's any criminals nearby, you could take advantage of me now. There's nothing else for me to give." He said in desperation. "MY PLEASURE." RoboGadget blared out as she grabbed Slickstein by his coat collar. "AGH! JAMIE! What are you doing here?!" Slickstein frantically blurted out. "Who is Jamie?" RoboGadget asked as she tilted her head at an unnatural curve. "What?! I thought you'd know who you were by now! Even after all those improvements! There wasn't even a breast implant to be found!" Slickstein shouted in fear. "Better yet, WHERE is Jamie?!" RoboGadget yelled. "I-I don't know! She's out somewhere but not here!" Slickstein exclaimed as he kicked his legs, trying to pry himself out of RoboGadget's grip. She was too strong to get out, so it was no use trying to escape. "Tell me where Jamie is, or suffer." RoboGadget angrily said as her eyes fully turned red. "She's with Metro City Police and it's all I know! PLEASE LET ME GO!" Slickstein screamed as he was down to his last breath. Sadly, it wasn't enough for her to know. "GO GO GADGET DIE." RoboGadget muttered. A set of chopper blades extruded from her hat. She flung Slickstein into them, slaughtering him with quick shrieks. She stepped out with plenty of blood stains on her face, fedora, and trench coat. "She's around here somewhere. I know it." She said as she walked out of the warehouse, beginning her psychotic rampage. TO BE CONTINUED...
Well, things got VERY dark at the ending of the chapter. Sorry for going all-out there. Also, I wanna take the extra time to apologize if this all sounds familiar to PolarStar's The Beginning story she made. There might be enough differences between our versions, but I have concerns. Seriously, it scares me if it's accidentally a knockoff. The more reasonable apology is if this part feels rushed. I just wanted to get something out to prove I'm not dead. (that seems obvious) Rest in sh!t, Slickstein. (okay this might be a tad bit brutal but I wanted to put the Book of Shadows reference to good use. Good night!
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Post by Systemcat on Jun 3, 2019 7:04:06 GMT -6
I didn't see that coming how you ended the chapter. Is more darkness like that happening later? .. I'm not a fan of that sort of thing but there are other members here that are into it.
I didn't notice anything in this feeling like PolarStar's The Beginning story ( that I can remember. I haven't read it in a while ). Both have origin stories in them. But comparing them? They're just different. I wouldn't sweat it. The choice of name is pretty justified for the type of story.
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spm1
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Post by spm1 on Jun 3, 2019 7:26:08 GMT -6
I didn't see that coming how you ended the chapter. Is more darkness like that happening later? .. I'm not a fan of that sort of thing but there are other members here that are into it. I didn't notice anything in this feeling like PolarStar's The Beginning story ( that I can remember. I haven't read it in a while ). Both have origin stories in them. But comparing them? They're just different. I wouldn't sweat it. The choice of name is pretty justified for the type of story. I feel like the part is a delayed equivalent to Brenda's dad being murdered. Whereas that was dumbed down, I went all-out. If someone WAS to illustrate it, I'd advise the moneyshot gore to be off-screen where as RoboGadget's blood soaked coat would be seen later. Just wanted to reference that fake Book of Shadows trailer (the one I linked in the design thread) so I wouldn't forget the idea. I'm pretty sure RoboGadget is gonna do plenty of effed up stuff, but fortunately it's not bloody murder. Plus I will admit it was a tad bit overkill. Also I'm relieved about the differences between our stories. I usually get scared if I accidentally copy another thing. It just gets me paranoid a LOT. (although I wanted to recreate the "clawd" thing she did. I decided against it so there'd be less for me to worry about.)
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Post by spm1 on Oct 11, 2019 7:25:29 GMT -6
PART 6:
Gadget was overseeing some evidence picked up from the crime scene. She couldn't help but notice the over-sized text on the black suits.
"Hey, wait a minute. Why would they call out their negative emotions like this?" She asked herself as she took close attention to the sloppily painted lettering. She noticed an odd looking white line near the belt area. The area itself would've been covered by an actual belt, but none was present.
"Go go Gadget magnifying glass." Gadget said.
One of the mechanical hands popped out from her trilby hat with a magnifying glass, and positioned itself to get a clearer look at the spot.
"Increase magnification." She muttered. The glass extended to see an even larger observation. "Increase again." She said again. The glass finally got a clear look, now just displaying a bunch of text in a linear form. Gadget then read the text to herself.
"If lost, return the suit to Dr. Claw at whatever abandoned place he resides in." Gadget said. "Search database for Claw."
A voice emitted from her hat that sounded a bit like Maxwell Smart. "Claw. Match found. Irving Winchester. Name change dated May 23rd at 5:21 PM." Suddenly, a theory popped up. "Aha! Irving became obsessed for the fairgrounds, so he named himself after those rigged machines!" Gadget exclaimed excitedly. "No wait, that's ridiculous."
Meanwhile, the phony RoboGadget was roaming around Pittsburgh. She had an awkwardly positioned smile stretched from left cheek to right. She kept twitching sinisterly. While at the crosswalk, she came across a little boy who was no more than six.
"Inspector Gadget! Can I have your autograph?" The boy exclaimed.
"Ya got 20 bucks?" RoboGadget asked like a cynical secretary.
"Ummm, no?" The boy said awkwardly.
The faker lunged towards the boy with a loud robotic screech with her arms protruding towards him. All kinds of lethal tools popped out her fedora, coat, and hands. The child screamed and ran across the street. He ran during a red light, so cars kept revving down the street. He was unharmed, although several cars swerved intensely. She snickered sinisterly to herself, which segued into a loud laugh.
Meanwhile with the real Gadget, she was in a separate car and just picked up Penny from school. She was driving down the road, although not close to the accident. The radio was playing the clean version of Nelly’s rap song Ride Wit Me. “Now let’s think of something. There might be a connection between Claw and Mad. But what could Mad be doing on those suits?” Gadget asked herself with one shoulder on the side.
“Aunt Gadget? It’s likely that Mad is some form of gang. Why else were there multiple people wearing those suits?” Penny asked.
“Good point. The amount of people they have is less like a gang, but more like an army. Then Mad must be the name of an organization!” Gadget said. “Turns out that Claw is also the new name for that Winchester fellow who caused my transformation.”
“There ya go!” Penny said.
Gadget then heard an alarming message cut off the music. “We interrupt the music to bring you breaking news. A major traffic accident has totaled seven cars, with five others damaged. The cause was because of a little boy running through the road from a cloaked figure. The figure resembles Metro City’s newest officer Inspector Gadget. Wherever she is, police will be ready to take her down.”
“WOWZERS! I got it! Claw formed a terrorist organization and made that robot to take over!” Gadget exclaimed.
Penny jolted in shock from the sudden realization. “Gadget, you may need an extra hand in this.” She said.
“Penny, I told you this before. It’s far too dangerous for you.” Gadget said with a small groan.
“How old do I need to be so I can do detective work?” Penny asked with a small hint of disappointment.
“Actually, I don’t know. But I think older than you are now. Let's get you home so I can take care of this.” Gadget groaned. “If only Laura was around so she could hear about my feats.”
Meanwhile, a television set in the Metro City Police Office was covering some of the commotion that was happening earlier today.
“An impersonator dressed as Inspector Gadget has been identified as the suspect behind the pileup from earlier today. She was also laughing hysterically upon stacking the seven totaled cars behind me.” The reporter said.
“Reports also say that she has bombed a firehouse, destroyed private property, and set fire to an elderly man’s beard. It is unknown what will happen next, but if you see a cloaked figure matching the onscreen visual, contact the police immediately.”
Chief Quimby just so happened to catch the report as audible screaming was heard outside the office. Several objects could be heard crashing. Eventually, footsteps were progressively getting louder and heavier.
The front door to Quimby’s office has smashed open by RoboGadget by swinging her head into the glass. Her hair drooped downwards, but swept away by her endoskeleton hands. Her sinister face was exposed as she reached in to get the door open, all with sinister chuckles. “Let’s talk, Chief.” She said.
“Don’t fool me, miss. I know that the real Gadget is still upset over the lack of information related to MAD.” Quimby said in a serious tone. “But she wouldn’t be destroying evidence collected by other officers. You know how she is, right?”
“HAH! You think I know that little punk? That Jamie is just one giant momma’s girl, leaving no-one else to care about.” RoboGadget loudly said. “Just tell me where she is, cuz lil sister Laura wants to talk with her.” She also said with growing anger.
“Wait, you’re Laura Brown? We can contact Gadget to pick you up. You do match the missing person report issued two days ago.” Quimby said, “But I don’t think she’d pick up the same girl who caused that pile-up, caused lots of damage, and killed our former scientist.”
Laura’s sclera turned pitch black with red glowing irises. She stepped forward quickly and grabbed Quimby by his neck. “Bring me to her, or we’re gonna have a little problem. Comprendre?”
Multiple of the surviving officers ran into the damaged office, armed with their usual firearms. “FREEZE, FAKER!” They shouted.
RoboGadget turned around quickly with a flamethrower extruding from her fedora. Flames erupted as officers tried to make their way through the fire. She roared again as she tried to use the flamethrower before letting it retract into her hat.
“ADIOS, BOYS!” She screamed as she ran and jumped out of the window. The officers ran up to the broken window, noticing that RoboGadget survived the fall as she got up without a major scratch. At this point, there was no other choice.
“We’re going to need to call Gadget.” Quimby grumbled.
FINALLY, OH MY GAWD. If you'd need to know what RoboGadget's roars sound like, just imagine those jumpscare sounds from Sister Location. Anyway, I thought it would be an interesting idea to have the computer voice sound a bit like Maxwell Smart, played by Don Adams before he became Gadget. I also planned out the family connection for Gadget and RoboGadget to play some form of unique idea for this concept. Really wish I could've had the Gadgetmobile in the van form. Maybe I'll put that detail in the complete version typed up in Microsoft Word.
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Post by Systemcat on Oct 11, 2019 9:38:58 GMT -6
While reading this I kept mentally having it's imagery switch back & forth from the idea of a live action film and comic book presentation. Don't know which felt more fitting, but I'm leaning into comic book. I hope you see that as a complement, I would. Was this copied over from Microsoft Word? Looking forward to the next chapter posted.
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