|
Post by PolarStar on Dec 5, 2015 17:04:56 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Dec 5, 2015 21:51:50 GMT -6
Chapter 2 review. ( To anyone confused, read user comments to chapter 1 on DA. ) At point one I was thinking why doesn't he use his gadgets to help him out, and literally the next thing that happened in the story was you then started to have him make use of them. Good timing. Also nice idea implemented for a chapter's end cliffhanger.
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Dec 6, 2015 5:25:37 GMT -6
Chapter 2 review. ( To anyone confused, read user comments to chapter 1 on DA. ) At point one I was thinking why doesn't he use his gadgets to help him out, and literally the next thing that happened in the story was you then started to have him make use of them. Good timing. Also nice idea implemented for a chapter's end cliffhanger. Eheh, thanks I actually don't know if I'm going to make Gadget using all of his gadgets on this story, since I wanted to try making him acting more normal, but who knows... maybe I'll make him use them more often XD
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Dec 7, 2015 15:05:57 GMT -6
Chapter 4 review.
What strikes me the most about this chapter is the interesting way you relayed the mouse's story in it's formatting. Plus as like before I could easily visualize what you were writing about in events.
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Dec 7, 2015 15:40:51 GMT -6
Chapter 4 review. What strikes me the most about this chapter is the interesting way you relayed the mouse's story in it's formatting. Plus as like before I could easily visualize what you were writing about in events. I actually cheated on this chapter a little. Since this is not exactly my favorite part of the Alice book story and movies I was having trouble a little because I couldn't remember a lot of the actions happening on that chapter, only the Hallmark Entertainment version. And for the mouse two stories I just copy the original ones from the book But at least I tried my best at trying to make this chapter a more "my" version.
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Dec 23, 2015 18:31:21 GMT -6
New chapters on!
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Dec 25, 2015 9:45:03 GMT -6
The incident with the Duchess and the pig-baby. Knowing only the Disney version, originally I didn't know of that part until it was used in a web comic parody a few years ago.
|
|
|
Post by gizmo2015 on Dec 30, 2015 21:54:21 GMT -6
I will look at this tonight or maybe tomorrow during new years.
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Dec 31, 2015 6:06:32 GMT -6
I will look at this tonight or maybe tomorrow during new years. Okay Thank you and take your time!
|
|
|
Post by gizmo2015 on Dec 31, 2015 20:34:18 GMT -6
Welcome and no problem.
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Jan 1, 2016 11:18:04 GMT -6
I just got through chapter 10. ..Did you write a Sonic reference in that chapter? Of the speed of the hedgehog/croquet ball.
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Jan 1, 2016 11:32:13 GMT -6
I just got through chapter 10. ..Did you write a Sonic reference in that chapter? Of the speed of the hedgehog/croquet ball. Yes! I did! Just to give a little humor.
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Jan 1, 2016 11:57:30 GMT -6
Chapter 12: Did you come up with the various lyrics in it?
|
|
|
Post by PolarStar on Jan 1, 2016 12:54:20 GMT -6
Chapter 12: Did you come up with the various lyrics in it? When you say come up like if I invented them, no. Like I said before some texts like the poetries and songs that some characters present I copied from the original book. I know that's cheating and copy, but I really wanted to respect some stuff from the original book.
|
|
|
Post by Systemcat on Jan 1, 2016 13:16:34 GMT -6
Chapter 14: I know it was a typo, but the crowd mistake made for an interesting visual.
|
|