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Post by Systemcat on May 26, 2019 10:24:36 GMT -6
I told Butterfly about this recently in a PM among other things. Every May my mind skips forward into thinking about June. More accurately my birthday.
I've come to regard this day as cursed.
When I was a kid for just over ten years, I came to associate it with getting my fingers smashed in a car door. Somehow every year this happened. On top of my day being an afterthought in people's minds, I got an injury.
Pass the time of deep bruising & pain. It still remains nothing special to anyone but myself, and normally marked by nothing. Highlights here:
. Being told to give part of my present to my brother who was acting like he should have gotten it. . No one remembered during a family event and I was handed a gift literally done with no thought put into it. . Things being called for me but they were only intended for my mom. . Being driven to a man's house only for him to watch soccer all day and remember my existence at the last second of the day. . Being handed a jar of garbage as a present. Having heatshoke in my car, and the rearview mirror breaking off in a parking lot far from everyone. . Heatshoke in the older RV. Not even being able to watch a movie in full because Bobby wouldn't leave me alone.
I'm normally always alone on this day. I don't expect presents, I just try to buy myself something special. I haven't had cake on that day in years.
It used to be once a year James would call me up to wish me happy birthday. Either when him and I were both in the Houston area, and here ( Ohio ). But he's gone now.
I've been asked what I'd do if I could. ... Because of lack of money with all my financial obligations eating it up, also having a bad car. I can't think of anything to do. I'm sure people would say take a walk, but for me walking most of the time hurts because of overlapping pain conditions.
Is there anything I can do to break this curse?
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Post by PolarStar on May 26, 2019 14:55:55 GMT -6
Oh boy, I really don't know what to say since these are stuff that I never went through in my life, especially birthdays, so I'm not sure if my advice might be helpful. The only thing I can say is for you to stay safe ('cause seriously, that part where you say you get your fingers smashed accidentally kinda freaked me out ) and for not being with the ones who don't care about you, just with the ones who really do. Otherwise just pass it by yourself, get entertained with something, with a movie/series if the climax let's to, hearing music, cooking, drawing, etc. That's really what I can suggest, don't know if it is helpful.
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2019 15:22:11 GMT -6
*hugs* I feel the same way when it comes to the month of March when personal things happen for the worse for me, but somehow "it will all come out in the wash" when summertime hits. I guess it's that time of year once when I need to make big decisions that may effect the year. Out from my own experiences, I honestly don't believe in curses, but things just happen if you worry about it too much, or looking too far ahead in time and worry about the unknown.... from what I've learned is to not worry about it and look forward to your birthday as something good. I work a lot on my birthday which I sometimes forget what date it is until I get a lot of messages and posts on my FB at the end of the day. lol! it's been years since I've had cake and gifts, but to be it's just another day to me, just a year older.
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Post by Systemcat on May 26, 2019 15:59:20 GMT -6
PolarStar getting my fingers crushed in car doors hasn't happened in years, but yeah annual when it did. I used to for over ten years annual, get sick in the guts very badly every Super Bowl. And no it wasn't from partying, I'm not really into football. I have no one with me and I don't really count Theta. Black sheep of the family and the one offline friend I'd like to pal around with, normally never has the time for me. My Blu-Ray player is broken and the one I need to replace it with due to some of my collection. Well I can't afford it. .. Thanks to video hosting sites which shouldn't exist, I've already watched every recent film to pull on my curiosity. @butterfly I want to see the good in it but nothing ever comes of it but a change in number. You mentioning working on your B-Day reminded me of the year I worked an early shift and my supervisor had me in the restroom cleaning ... ... near liquid bown off the can ( inside / outside ) - floor - walls. I don't think anything of FB notices my birthday. The site automatically reminds everyone listed as a friend it's your day. I have so many people "connected" to me on FB who don't know me at all, it feels cheap. Especially when these people I have no connection to "Like" bad things that happen to me. Speaking of FB, and since you are one of the few people there which I don't consider a stranger. That question you asked in PM. I tried to sum up an answer in a nutshell but couldn't. Facetime chat?
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2019 21:55:43 GMT -6
PolarStar getting my fingers crushed in car doors hasn't happened in years, but yeah annual when it did. I used to for over ten years annual, get sick in the guts very badly every Super Bowl. And no it wasn't from partying, I'm not really into football. I have no one with me and I don't really count Theta. Black sheep of the family and the one offline friend I'd like to pal around with, normally never has the time for me. My Blu-Ray player is broken and the one I need to replace it with due to some of my collection. Well I can't afford it. .. Thanks to video hosting sites which shouldn't exist, I've already watched every recent film to pull on my curiosity. @butterfly I want to see the good in it but nothing ever comes of it but a change in number. You mentioning working on your B-Day reminded me of the year I worked an early shift and my supervisor had me in the restroom cleaning ... ... near liquid bown off the can ( inside / outside ) - floor - walls. I don't think anything of FB notices my birthday. The site automatically reminds everyone listed as a friend it's your day. I have so many people "connected" to me on FB who don't know me at all, it feels cheap. Especially when these people I have no connection to "Like" bad things that happen to me. Speaking of FB, and since you are one of the few people there which I don't consider a stranger. That question you asked in PM. I tried to sum up an answer in a nutshell but couldn't. Facetime chat? oh man! that has to suck about cleaning the restroom, I pretty much know how you feel about that. I used to do the same thing when I worked with JC Penney (before they shut down the store) and cleaning public restrooms are not fun... (sometimes you'll get surprises in the changing rooms too. *sigh*)
that's really a shame about FB on your b-day, I know I get a lot of "up coming b-days" on my list. i'll make sure to comment on yours. I do that a lot to the people I talk to on FB.
that would be awesome if you are able too. just give me a message first before then.
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Post by gizmo2015 on May 29, 2019 14:27:48 GMT -6
sorry to hear that.
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Post by Systemcat on Jun 12, 2019 18:16:57 GMT -6
... The curse continued. No one visited. No one called. No special food. I bought myself a present. ... I'm very depressed right now. This day is never good.
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Post by gizmo2015 on Jun 12, 2019 18:43:47 GMT -6
... The curse continued. No one visited. No one called. No special food. I bought myself a present. ... I'm very depressed right now. This day is never good. many hugs system cat
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Post by ynnep48 on Jun 12, 2019 18:45:17 GMT -6
... The curse continued. No one visited. No one called. No special food. I bought myself a present. ... I'm very depressed right now. This day is never good. Sorry you're going through that. That's straight up whack and no one deserves a crap bday. My birthdays were like that for years. (Won't be going into that) Advice? Throw your own party BUT not on the actual day. That's how I broke my birthday curses. -Hugs- We all love ya, SystemCat! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY!
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Post by Systemcat on Jun 15, 2019 17:49:22 GMT -6
Thanks both of you. ... I've now stumped into a deep depression because of this. ... I just can't seem to get this to break. No one cared. The only call I got was from Butterfly when she could after work. Ynnep48, I love your advice . I just wish I could follow through with it. I can't afford to treat myself. The last time I did something to treat myself was when I posted the very last page of Iron and Steel to DeviantArt. That long ago. But that wasn't a party. Just me in a rather pricey Greek restaurant ( nearly a $20 bill ). One meal and desert. ... I wanted my boyfriend at the time to be with me. ... He had more important plans. His weekly hang out with one of his friends.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2019 19:07:57 GMT -6
Thanks both of you. ... I've now stumped into a deep depression because of this. ... I just can't seem to get this to break. No one cared. The only call I got was from Butterfly when she could after work. Ynnep48, I love your advice . I just wish I could follow through with it. I can't afford to treat myself. The last time I did something to treat myself was when I posted the very last page of Iron and Steel to DeviantArt. That long ago. But that wasn't a party. Just me in a rather pricey Greek restaurant ( nearly a $20 bill ). One meal and desert. ... I wanted my boyfriend at the time to be with me. ... He had more important plans. His weekly hang out with one of his friends. Awe, that's very sad and messed up that your ex just ditched you like that on your birthday, nobody deserves that.
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Post by gizmo2015 on Jun 17, 2019 22:43:02 GMT -6
Thanks both of you. ... I've now stumped into a deep depression because of this. ... I just can't seem to get this to break. No one cared. The only call I got was from Butterfly when she could after work. Ynnep48, I love your advice . I just wish I could follow through with it. I can't afford to treat myself. The last time I did something to treat myself was when I posted the very last page of Iron and Steel to DeviantArt. That long ago. But that wasn't a party. Just me in a rather pricey Greek restaurant ( nearly a $20 bill ). One meal and desert. ... I wanted my boyfriend at the time to be with me. ... He had more important plans. His weekly hang out with one of his friends. Awe, that's very sad and messed up that your ex just ditched you like that on your birthday, nobody deserves that. I hope all of the people that wronged you get some karma.
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